[BretLudwig]

Years ago a burger stand which did a good trade with airline personnel
changed hands. Actually, it wasn't a voluntary deal, the owner-a grizzled
old sumbitch I'll call "Coasty"-got divorced and the ex got the place in
lieu of alimony. This was a good deal for her. since he owned the building
and the ground beneath it outright, and the little municipality was a
"Smart Growth" area, meaning someday the location would be really prime to
the right burger chain.

Instead of flipping the place, Ex-Mrs.Coasty decided to flip burgers for
awhile while Coasty headed out to the coast to lick his wounds.
Immediately, it was agreed by all and sundry that while the place was
still not too bad, the burgers just didn't have quite the same flavor, and
business suffered a little. Eventually the business dropped off in a big
way because the airline effectively went tits up and the locals became the
only trade, she sold out, and the place continues to operate but at highly
reduced volume.

Oltimers still complained occasionally that while the food wasn't too
bad, it wasn't just quite as good as it had been when old Coasty ran the
joint.

Eventually, Coasty spilled the beans on why. It seems that for dinner, he
liked to have pancakes with curry and rice and lamb with lots and lots of
spices, washed down with foreign beer. Next morning, he'd have a massive
and stinky ****, which he'd do in a pot, and throw it in the french fry
fryer. After the pile of **** cooked nearly to a crisp, with a tremendous
odor, he'd throw it on the grill with the oil and light it off like a
teppan-yaki chef, then mash it all over the grill, and let it burn to
carbon. Then he'd scrape the grill and by opening the smell had dissipated
to the usual misama of a burger joint.

Of course, no germs or viruses could survive the charring, so the health
issue was marginal. But the faint hint of the revolting smell was just
enough to cause a highly _favorable_ taste and smell to the customers,
most of whose senses of smell were daily assaulted by jet blast, condensed
ciggy smoke a la air cycle turbine (back then smoking on planes was okay)
and Skydrol.

I have to say, I ate a ****burger or two myself there when Coasty ran
things and I thought they were pretty good too. Of course, there's no
goddamned way I'd eat one now knowing that was what he did: in fact, I
don't eat there even now.

But who knew? It's an interesting phenomenon to be sure.

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