Does anyone else have this problem?
After playing a particulary moving piece of music I have a very strong
urge to have a bowel movement (crap) on the piano bench, and I
usually do.

This can be somewhat embarressing at times and I am wondering how I
can go about cleaning up so that the host or owner of the piano does
not notice?

Propiano is really starting to get annoyed with me because my last few
missles were real stinkers!

Please do not suggest diapers because they make noise that interferes
with the recording of my best pieces.

Does anyone else have this fetish?

Wallace

Wallace Quackenbusch wrote:

Does anyone else have this problem?
After playing a particulary moving piece of music I have a very strong
urge to have a bowel movement (crap) on the piano bench, and I
usually do.

This can be somewhat embarressing at times and I am wondering how I
can go about cleaning up so that the host or owner of the piano does
not notice?

Propiano is really starting to get annoyed with me because my last few
missles were real stinkers!

Please do not suggest diapers because they make noise that interferes
with the recording of my best pieces.

Does anyone else have this fetish?

Wallace

It must be a mess after the 1812 Overture.

--
W '04 : Open

Forwarded to

Wallace Quackenbusch wrote:

Does anyone else have this problem?
After playing a particulary moving piece of music I have a very strong
urge to have a bowel movement (crap) on the piano bench, and I usually
do.

This can be somewhat embarressing at times and I am wondering how I can
go about cleaning up so that the host or owner of the piano does not
notice?

Propiano is really starting to get annoyed with me because my last few
missles were real stinkers!

Please do not suggest diapers because they make noise that interferes
with the recording of my best pieces.

Does anyone else have this fetish?

All you need to do is substitute a toilet for your piano bench. If you
can't fit a piano in the bathroom, simply detach the toilet from the
plumbing or construct a special mobile one if possible.

--
I went to the garbage cans at the Computer Science Center and I
fished out listings of their operating system. -- Bill Gates

In article , john
wrote:

All you need to do is substitute a toilet for your piano bench. If you
can't fit a piano in the bathroom, simply detach the toilet from the
plumbing or construct a special mobile one if possible.


Back in the 1970's, Leon Russell had a Wurlitzer electric piano in his
bathroom, within reach of anybody sitting on the throne.

Tony

Does anyone else have this problem?
After playing a particulary moving piece of music I have a very strong
urge to have a bowel movement (crap) on the piano bench, and I
usually do.

I have the EXACT SAME fetish, except it involves the sports section of the
newspaper instead of music, and a toilet instead of a piano bench.

Other than that excentricity, I'm pretty much normal.


Joe Egan
EMP
Colchester, VT
www.eganmedia.com

I believe it was Wallace Quackenbusch who said...
Does anyone else have this problem?
After playing a particulary moving piece of music I have a very strong
urge to have a bowel movement (crap) on the piano bench, and I
usually do.

Have you tried a cork?

--

"I have bowel movements worth more than Italy" --Bill Gates

And who can forget......

Q: What's brown and sits on a piano stool?

A: Beethoven's last movement.
(Mark Steven Brooks/Elaterium Music)

On Sat, 27 Mar 2004 19:04:38 -0800, Kurt Albershardt
wrote:

Forwarded to

Why?

CubaseFAQ www.laurencepayne.co.uk/CubaseFAQ.htm
"Possibly the world's least impressive web site": George Perfect

In comp.os.linux.advocacy, Tony Elka

wrote
on Sat, 27 Mar 2004 23:14:58 -0800
:
In article , john
wrote:

All you need to do is substitute a toilet for your piano bench. If you
can't fit a piano in the bathroom, simply detach the toilet from the
plumbing or construct a special mobile one if possible.


Back in the 1970's, Leon Russell had a Wurlitzer electric piano in his
bathroom, within reach of anybody sitting on the throne.

Tony

Nowadays that might be a variant of the Microsoft 'Loo (soundcards
are a wonderful thing for those that can't afford baby grands,
Wurlitzers, or churches to put organs in). Fortunately,
that was a puton...though I could see putting a computer in there
at some point, to use as the, erm, spirit moves one.

Of course detaching the toilet is a potty idea...

--
#191,
It's still legal to go .sigless.

In article , The Ghost In The Machine wrote:
that was a puton...though I could see putting a computer in there
at some point, to use as the, erm, spirit moves one.

Of course detaching the toilet is a potty idea...
A portable commode or even a bed pan would work fine. These
are often used by the elderly and disabled. The first (the commode)
often is on wheels as has the removable bucket to allow dumping later
(store and forward anyone?), where as the bed pan or more useful a
chair or seat pan would be placed on your exsisting piano bench.

--
From the Desk of the Sysop of:
Planet Maca's Opus, a Free open BBS system.
Telephone 860-738-7176 300-33.6kbps Telnet://pinkrose.net.dhis.org
The New Cnews maintainer
B'ichela

I guess the thought of poop is too offensive for some people's brains.
Rectum...damn near killed em.....


"Laurence Payne" wrote in message
...
On Sat, 27 Mar 2004 19:04:38 -0800, Kurt Albershardt
wrote:

Forwarded to

Why?

CubaseFAQ www.laurencepayne.co.uk/CubaseFAQ.htm
"Possibly the world's least impressive web site": George Perfect

Please do not suggest diapers because they make noise that interferes
with the recording of my best pieces.

Maybe I'm abnormal and need to fix my diet, but don't bowel movements often
make more noise than any rustling diaper?

Might be a good market for pro-audio diapers... made out of sound absorbing
material such as auralex, or Owens Corning 703 fibreglass (watch the itch
though).

(EganMedia) wrote in message ...
Does anyone else have this problem?
After playing a particulary moving piece of music I have a very strong
urge to have a bowel movement (crap) on the piano bench, and I
usually do.

I have the EXACT SAME fetish, except it involves the sports section of the
newspaper instead of music, and a toilet instead of a piano bench.

Other than that excentricity, I'm pretty much normal.


Joe Egan
EMP
Colchester, VT
www.eganmedia.com

Try Mix magazine, it's smaller and easier to hold, plus if you run out
of TP, Mix can provide a glossy substitute, much less messy than
newspaper g

Analogeezer

In article writes:

Try Mix magazine, it's smaller and easier to hold, plus if you run out
of TP, Mix can provide a glossy substitute, much less messy than
newspaper g

Does the term "absorbing reading matter" apply here?

The covers of Mix magazines are so slick that it doesn't take a very
tall stack of them on top of the tank before gravity overcomes
friction (or is that surface tension) and there's an avalanche.



--
I'm really Mike Rivers )
However, until the spam goes away or Hell freezes over,
lots of IP addresses are blocked from this system. If
you e-mail me and it bounces, use your secret decoder ring
and reach me he double-m-eleven-double-zero at yahoo

Don't feed the troll.


"David Grant" wrote in message
. ..


Please do not suggest diapers because they make noise that interferes
with the recording of my best pieces.

Maybe I'm abnormal and need to fix my diet, but don't bowel movements
often
make more noise than any rustling diaper?

Might be a good market for pro-audio diapers... made out of sound
absorbing
material such as auralex, or Owens Corning 703 fibreglass (watch the itch
though).

Hi Wallace Quackenbusch,

Crapping your pants after playing,
" a particularly moving piece of music ".

You inquired,
" Does anyone else have this problem ? "

The answer is quite simple really ...
Eat less fiber, and don't get so excited.