[Andre Jute]

Yo, RATs, help out a lady. I have received this letter from Brat
Ludwig's pen-pal in Cairo (with some necessary corrections to the
spelling for sense but no additional (?) punctuation):
***
dear boss I no like you cal mister bret ludwig thief he nice american
boy he promise me go hollywood you grand gentelmans speak very nice
english I ask you how to change my name for hollywood when mister bret
he make me big star I like fattarz candy mountain you like ... fatima
inshallah
***

I don't know if her name is presently Fatima Inshallah or if the
signature is "Fatima asks Allah to bless you". Perhaps "Mr Bret" can
help us out.

And what do you think of the stage name she has chosen, for when "Mr
Bret" turns her into a "big star", Fattarz Candy Mountain?

Help out a lady, fellers.

Hey, and who would have thought Bret Ludwig of all people would be
helping a Cairo cafe dancer to go to Hollywood? I mean, did you
suspect him of being a liberal and a nice guy? You think he wants
something from her?

Andre Jute

[Andre Jute]

Andre Jute wrote:
Yo, RATs, help out a lady. I have received this letter from Brat
Ludwig's pen-pal in Cairo (with some necessary corrections to the
spelling for sense but no additional (?) punctuation):
***
dear boss I no like you cal mister bret ludwig thief he nice american
boy he promise me go hollywood you grand gentelmans speak very nice
english I ask you how to change my name for hollywood when mister bret
he make me big star I like fattarz candy mountain you like ... fatima
inshallah
***

I don't know if her name is presently Fatima Inshallah or if the
signature is "Fatima asks Allah to bless you". Perhaps "Mr Bret" can
help us out.

And what do you think of the stage name she has chosen, for when "Mr
Bret" turns her into a "big star", Fattarz Candy Mountain?

Help out a lady, fellers.

Hey, and who would have thought Bret Ludwig of all people would be
helping a Cairo cafe dancer to go to Hollywood? I mean, did you
suspect him of being a liberal and a nice guy? You think he wants
something from her?

Andre Jute

PS Some of you may wonder how I know Brat Ludwig's not so little
girlfriend is a cafe dancer. Simple. The letter arrived on a postcard,
well thumbed by assorted postal workers for nearly three months before
they delivered it, and shows Ms Fatima Inshallah dancing on a table on
a pavement table outside "Le French Donkey Nite Klub"; the donkey is
also in the picture but not dancing. I put the photo on my netsite but
my IP rather prudishly removed it and wrote me a pompous letter about
"the responsibilities of a publisher". I promptly wrote to the IP's
chairman, "You aren't a publisher, you're a paperhanger for
advertisers. There is a very substantial gulf between the two
functions which you don't have either the brains or the moral fibre to
cross." He telephoned to ask if he could have Ms Fatima's picture for
his private collection. Bratwig apparently has very popular taste in
his Muslim girlfriend.

[Peter Wieck]

On Feb 23, 7:28 pm, "Andre Jute" wrote:
Yo, RATs, help out a lady. I have received this letter from Brat
Ludwig's pen-pal in Cairo (with some necessary corrections to the
spelling for sense but no additional (?) punctuation):
***
dear boss I no like you cal mister bret ludwig thief he nice american
boy he promise me go hollywood you grand gentelmans speak very nice
english I ask you how to change my name for hollywood when mister bret
he make me big star I like fattarz candy mountain you like ... fatima
inshallah
***

I don't know if her name is presently Fatima Inshallah or if the
signature is "Fatima asks Allah to bless you". Perhaps "Mr Bret" can
help us out.

And what do you think of the stage name she has chosen, for when "Mr
Bret" turns her into a "big star", Fattarz Candy Mountain?

Help out a lady, fellers.

Hey, and who would have thought Bret Ludwig of all people would be
helping a Cairo cafe dancer to go to Hollywood? I mean, did you
suspect him of being a liberal and a nice guy? You think he wants
something from her?

Andre Jute

Mr. McCoy's pot is calling Mr. Ludwig's kettle black.

Actually, Mr. Ludwig has a better chance at "wild monkey sex" with Mr.
McCoy than with any other living entity... if life that be. And vice-
versa, of course.

As one might well describe Mr. McCoy as one who prefers his vice
versa.

Peter Wieck
Wyncote, PA

[George M. Middius]

Andre Jute said:

Yo, RATs, help out a lady. I have received this letter from Brat
Ludwig's pen-pal in Cairo (with some necessary corrections to the
spelling for sense but no additional (?) punctuation):

We have Krooger, you have Bratwig. Are you suggesting a trade?





--

Krooscience: The antidote to education, experience, and excellence.

[Andre Jute]

George M. Middius wrote:
Andre Jute said:

Yo, RATs, help out a lady. I have received this letter from Brat
Ludwig's pen-pal in Cairo (with some necessary corrections to the
spelling for sense but no additional (?) punctuation):

We have Krooger, you have Bratwig. Are you suggesting a trade?

Nah, I have Arny "I spoke in error" Krueger under control already;
witness the wide berth he gives me, the nerve twitching in his face at
the mere mention of my name. There's no challenge there, though me
might still find the odd spot of entertainment in pulling his chain
and making Krueger pick his nose in public.

When I finish with the thief Ludwig, who irritated me by stealing a
late friend's copyright material, he'll be fornicating with donkeys in
public.

The common thing about bullies is that they are always impressionable.
I'm really inventive with impressionables, who anyway don't usually
have the brains to understand that this sentence is a threat.

Krooscience: The antidote to education, experience, and excellence.

I've always admired your colophon as a superb encapsulation of the
harm done by that shallow little man Krueger. It earns forgiveness of
all your sins, George.

Andre Jute
The trouble with most people is not what they don't know, but what
they know for certain that isn't true. ---Mark Twain

[Peter Wieck]

On Feb 23, 7:58 pm, George M. Middius cmndr _ george @ comcast .
net wrote:
Andre Jute said:

Yo, RATs, help out a lady. I have received this letter from Brat
Ludwig's pen-pal in Cairo (with some necessary corrections to the
spelling for sense but no additional (?) punctuation):

We have Krooger, you have Bratwig. Are you suggesting a trade?

--

Krooscience: The antidote to education, experience, and excellence.

Sockpuppet, and master. Both exceedingly dull. And both in great need
of each other. I vote for a threesome... The commander McCoy and
Ludwig.... Imagine the improvement to _ANYWHERE_ they were not. Wild
Monkey Sex, indeed.

Peter Wieck
Wyncote, PA