Mr. Cranky Savages "The Passion of the Christ"
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The Passion of the Christ
Mr. Cranky's rating: 3 bombs

Has anybody else been following Mel Gibson's recent interviews about
"The Passion of the Christ" and quietly sobbing? A conservative
Catholic, Mel told one interviewer that his Episcopalian wife is going
to hell. Apparently, his performance all those years ago as crazed
Sgt. Martin Riggs in "Lethal Weapon" wasn't just an act.
Mel's a few apples short of a full pie and clearly, something hasn't
fallen far from the tree: Gibson's father has joined the promotion
effort by polishing his skills as an outspoken Holocaust denier.

Gibson says he worked his way out of suicidal depression by filming
the story of Jesus's final hours. Gibson begins the story with Jesus
(Jim Caviezel) out in the forest with his disciples. Meanwhile, Judas
is busy selling Jesus out to the Jews. The Jewish guards drag Jesus
before their leaders, who promptly denounce him as a blasphemer then
pressure the Roman magistrate, Pontius Pilate (Hristo Shopov), to have
Jesus crucified.

The story is kind of predictable. Resurrection is only really cool
when it's unexpected. However, I had no idea prior to seeing this that
I was about to spend two hours watching Jesus get his ass kicked. Even
if you have utter disdain for Christianity, watching huge, muscle-
bound Romans beat the holy crap out of little Jesus isn't very
exciting unless you like blood, which Mel seems to like very much
indeed. When the Romans are done with him, Jesus resembles a pork chop
tenderized by a jackhammer.

Sitting through this film does provide at least one revelation: Jesus
wasn't the only one who suffered.

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Mr. Cranky's movie rating scale:
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1 bomb......Almost tolerable
2 bombs.....Consistently annoying
3 bombs.....Will require therapy after viewing
4 bombs.....As good as a poke in the eye with a sharp stick
Dynamite....So godawful that it ruptured the very fabric of
space and time with the sheer overpowering force of
its mediocrity
Nuke........Proof that Jesus died in vain

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The story is kind of predictable.

Ya think?

Resurrection is only really cool
when it's unexpected.

Thanks for ruining the ending for me.

"The Passion of the Christ"
From: (S888Wheel)
Date: 3/14/04 5:59 PM Pacific Standard Time
Message-id:


The story is kind of predictable.

Ya think?

Resurrection is only really cool
when it's unexpected.

Thanks for ruining the ending for me.





It was in the book, didn't you read it?

Subject: Mr. Cranky Savages "The Passion of the Christ"
From: (Mikermckelvy)
Date: 3/15/2004 2:47 PM Pacific Standard Time
Message-id:

"The Passion of the Christ"
From: (S888Wheel)
Date: 3/14/04 5:59 PM Pacific Standard Time
Message-id:


The story is kind of predictable.

Ya think?

Resurrection is only really cool
when it's unexpected.

Thanks for ruining the ending for me.





It was in the book, didn't you read it?







I always wait for the movie to come out first.

"Mikermckelvy" wrote in message
...
"The Passion of the Christ"
From: (S888Wheel)
Date: 3/14/04 5:59 PM Pacific Standard Time
Message-id:


The story is kind of predictable.

Ya think?

Resurrection is only really cool
when it's unexpected.

Thanks for ruining the ending for me.





It was in the book, didn't you read it?

In the book, it wasn't the ending.




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