Okay, this one's gonna separate the men from the boys. The "serious
audiophiles" from the gabby poseurs you find all over this group. The
"real audiophiles" from the wanna-be wimp audiophiles. The "active"
audiophiles from the lazy dilettantes. And it's bound to be painful
but....

First, you're gonna need blood. This means you have to cut yourself.
The more blood you can gather, the more that you can tweak. So for the
really courageous (this would exclude Shovels & Fella, natch), I
suggest chopping off a few appendages. Only the ones you don't need,
however. For most of you, this will be your penis. For the remainder...
who needs the full compliment of ten fingers anyway? I'm sure that if
you chop off a few, you won't even miss them. (note to Fella: If you
miss your index finger that much, you can shove a pencil up your nose
instead). For the squeamish, an xacto knife on the tip of the finger
might also do. If you really have a thing about cutting yourself,
another way that you might be able to draw some blood is to hit
yourself on the side of the head with a hard object, hard enough to get
the old ketchup flowing. Other suggestions: bash on the nose, power
drill to the ear, hacksaw on the foot, crushing glass in your hand,
poking yourself with a sharp fork around the tender bits.

Now once you've gotten the blood, the rest is easy. Smear the blood
on the inside and outside of your speakers, including woofer cones and
particularly near the output terminals on the back. Sound will improve
and appear to be have more presence and closeness to it, among other
things.

wrote:
Okay, this one's gonna separate the men from the boys. The "serious
audiophiles" from the gabby poseurs you find all over this group. The
"real audiophiles" from the wanna-be wimp audiophiles. The "active"
audiophiles from the lazy dilettantes. And it's bound to be painful
but....

First, you're gonna need blood. This means you have to cut yourself.
The more blood you can gather, the more that you can tweak. So for the
really courageous (this would exclude Shovels & Fella, natch), I
suggest chopping off a few appendages. Only the ones you don't need,
however. For most of you, this will be your penis. For the remainder...
who needs the full compliment of ten fingers anyway? I'm sure that if
you chop off a few, you won't even miss them. (note to Fella: If you
miss your index finger that much, you can shove a pencil up your nose
instead). For the squeamish, an xacto knife on the tip of the finger
might also do. If you really have a thing about cutting yourself,
another way that you might be able to draw some blood is to hit
yourself on the side of the head with a hard object, hard enough to get
the old ketchup flowing. Other suggestions: bash on the nose, power
drill to the ear, hacksaw on the foot, crushing glass in your hand,
poking yourself with a sharp fork around the tender bits.

Now once you've gotten the blood, the rest is easy. Smear the blood
on the inside and outside of your speakers, including woofer cones and
particularly near the output terminals on the back. Sound will improve
and appear to be have more presence and closeness to it, among other
things.
Would you please provide a web video demonstrating this tweak.
Previously you had made the assesment that many of us are not
capable of following written instructions successfully in correctly
implimenting your tweaks.

wrote in message
oups.com...

wrote:
Okay, this one's gonna separate the men from the boys. The "serious
audiophiles" from the gabby poseurs you find all over this group. The
"real audiophiles" from the wanna-be wimp audiophiles. The "active"
audiophiles from the lazy dilettantes. And it's bound to be painful
but....

First, you're gonna need blood. This means you have to cut yourself.
The more blood you can gather, the more that you can tweak. So for the
really courageous (this would exclude Shovels & Fella, natch), I
suggest chopping off a few appendages. Only the ones you don't need,
however. For most of you, this will be your penis. For the remainder...
who needs the full compliment of ten fingers anyway? I'm sure that if
you chop off a few, you won't even miss them. (note to Fella: If you
miss your index finger that much, you can shove a pencil up your nose
instead). For the squeamish, an xacto knife on the tip of the finger
might also do. If you really have a thing about cutting yourself,
another way that you might be able to draw some blood is to hit
yourself on the side of the head with a hard object, hard enough to get
the old ketchup flowing. Other suggestions: bash on the nose, power
drill to the ear, hacksaw on the foot, crushing glass in your hand,
poking yourself with a sharp fork around the tender bits.

Now once you've gotten the blood, the rest is easy. Smear the blood
on the inside and outside of your speakers, including woofer cones and
particularly near the output terminals on the back. Sound will improve
and appear to be have more presence and closeness to it, among other
things.
Would you please provide a web video demonstrating this tweak.
Previously you had made the assesment that many of us are not
capable of following written instructions successfully in correctly
implimenting your tweaks.

It is said that hanged men hear beautiful music. The most beautiful tweak of
all, but not easily repeated.