The time has come to put an end to the factional bickering that threatens to
shatter r.a.o., leaving its abundant wealth for exploitation by foreign
entities. The time has come to give r.a.o. a government that will guarantee
a fair distribution of all the benefits of r.a.o. denizenship. It remains
only to propose a slate of eminently talented people, who, rising to this
extraordinary challenge, may in future centuries adorn our currency, while
wearing powdered wigs and false teeth.

I nominate:
as President, Lionel Chapuis, because he lives far enough away that it will
be difficult for residents of Maryland to assassinate him.

as Secretary of the Treasury, John Atkinson (can we have a cut of the
Stereophile ad revenue, John?)

as Ambasssador at Large, Paul Packer, for his talent at bridging
unbridgeable differences

as Chief Justice of the Supreme Court, George M. Middius, giving him an
opportunity to rule on everything

as Minister of Internal Security, Arny Krueger, who will apprehend deviants
with German efficiency

as Minister of Propaganda, Mikey McKelviphibian, because he has proven that
anybody can be made to believe anything

as Minister of Inner Space, Sander deWaal

as Minister of Culture, Dave Weil

as Chairman of the National Bureau of Standards, Ludovic Mirabel, thereby
ensuring that Truth and Beauty will be safely stored under glass, in an
inert atmosphere, in a locked safe.

as head of the General Accounting Office, ScottW, because he can find fault
with anything

as Poet Laureate, Hammingway

as Chairman of the House UnRAOish Affairs Committee, Steven Sullivan, where
he can play at being Joseph McCarthy.

as Official Fly on the Wall and Official Aphorist, Art Sackman

as head of the EPA, who is responsible for the proper disposal of unwanted
high end gear -- I'll take that one