[George M. Middius[_4_]]

It's that time of the week again. The Krooborg is girding its nether regions
for another withering assault from Pastor Matt. The Beast's visit to church
always ends the same way: Come Monday, Turdborg drags its miserable ass back
to Usenet and acts out its stinging frustration from the humiliations of
spending a few hours among its devout and repentant neighbors.

Nevertheless, we on RAO should support Mr. **** in its feeble efforts to
prepare for its weekly contemplation of the Almighty. Did y'all know
Turdborg has a catechism it calls "The En-juh-near's Prayer"? It's on his
miserable excuse for a web site, which, by the way, hasn't been updated in,
like, ten years. The relics of Turdy's pathetic career can be spotted,
including a crooked deal he signed with the dentist who made his dentures.

For the benefit of any interested Normals, the Resistance has attempted to
decode the nonsenical prattle in Mr. ****'s ridiculous "prayer". Herewith a
Normalized version of the stinky **** that the Krooborg tries to pass off as
"faith".



Engineer's Prayer

Translation: Sicicccnnnece is for loosers.

Dear Lord, Almighty God; Maker of the Universe and mo

Translation: I, Arnii F. Krooborg, am a disgusting piece of crap.
Please smite me, O Lord.

In your mercy, glory and power, which so rapidly approached and now uniquely
circumscribes infinity, because you created it.

Translation: Hey God, how'd you like my vocab exercise? I got
all that sh*i*t from the Booble. I have an extra copy if you, y'know,
haven't read it yet.

Please grant me the wisdom to know what should be readily and effectively
analyzed, and what should be understood intuitively.

Translation: Still working on my "One Day Without Snotting" token.

Please grant me the mathematical skills, theoretical knowledge, and
computational power to analyze what should be analyzed.

Translation: Yes of course I went to school. What does that have
to do with anything? I'm prayin' here!

Please grant me the experimental and statistical skills to determine
experimentally what should determined experimentally.

Translation: If I knew how to bust out of a wet paper bag, do you
think I'd bother hauling my sorry ass to chruch™ every dam' Sunday?

Please grant me the project management and optimization skills to use all
the resources which you have graciously and undeservedly placed at my
disposal, to their fullest.

Translation: The "management" part is purely hypothetical. All of my
"trainees" are in therapy or Witness Protection.

Finally, Dear Lord, please grant me adequate funding and time so I can eat,
work, and even occasionally relax comfortably; while I am having all this
"fun"! I will take time to praise, study and worship you regardless.

Translation: This is just in case the Kroobitch realizes the dowry
was a one-shot donation for the propagation of Kroofulness.

Proverbs 2:6 For the LORD gives wisdom, and from his mouth come knowledge
and understanding.

Translation: I haven't fooled any Normals yet, O Lord. Please cover
me with more crap so maybe they won't recognize me, k?

[George M. Middius[_4_]]

Uh-oh. A single cheerleading audition from veteran Kroopologist StynchBlob
has reinvigorated the Krooborg's AutoHypocrisyMax gland. The snotstorm is
gathering and bits of Mr. ****'s lunch are resurfacing in the toilet.

It's that time of the week again. The Krooborg is girding its nether regions
for another withering assault from Pastor Matt. The Beast's visit to church
always ends the same way: Come Monday, Turdborg drags its miserable ass back
to Usenet and acts out its stinging frustration from the humiliations of
spending a few hours among its devout and repentant neighbors.

Nevertheless, we on RAO should support Mr. **** in its feeble efforts to
prepare for its weekly contemplation of the Almighty. Did y'all know
Turdborg has a catechism it calls "The En-juh-near's Prayer"? It's on his
miserable excuse for a web site, which, by the way, hasn't been updated in,
like, ten years. The relics of Turdy's pathetic career can be spotted,
including a crooked deal he signed with the dentist who made his dentures.

Turdy's silence in this inquiry confirms that every allegation is completely
true. How long before God actually smites him with a thunderous downpour of
Holy Snot?

For the benefit of any interested Normals, the Resistance has attempted to
decode the nonsenical prattle in Mr. ****'s ridiculous "prayer". Herewith a
Normalized version of the stinky **** that the Krooborg tries to pass off as "faith".

Arnii, I've asked you several times to reconcile your professed love of
"science" with your brain-dead adherence to infantile superstitions. It's
too bad you're so dim-witted and under-educated that you can't see the
contradiction. Let's go right to the most intensely snotty clause in your
idiocy:

Engineer's Prayer

[snip]

Proverbs 2:6 For the LORD gives wisdom, and from his mouth come knowledge
and understanding.
Translation: I haven't fooled any Normals yet, O Lord. Please cover
me with more crap so maybe they won't recognize me, k?

Your inability to explain your babyish enthrallment with fairy tales puts
you in the company of the worst malefactors in human history. It's creatures
like you that enable horrific mass murderers like Genghis Khan, the
Crusaders, and al Qaeda. How do you "live" with that kind of guilt,
Turdborg?

snip usual childish ranting and name-calling.

So it's your position that "name-calling" is bad? Just checking.

Miidiot

You must truly hate yourself for breaking your own rules so often, Mr. ****.
You'd better queue up a long prayer session soon to cleanse yourself of the
stench of the behavior you abhor so passionately.