[George M. Middius]

Not a "Southern baptist", Arnii? But they're supposed to be the "purest"
believers, the truest followers of JEE-zus. Are you sure you want to
make this choice, Turdy?

Anyway, we're here to help you find the right chruch™ for you and the
Kroobitch and your snot-brood. Now that Goose Puke Baptist Chruch has
thrown you out, I know you need a new home. One of those loving, caring
groups would be the perfect home for you...

(a) Church of Christ's Everlasting Feces

(b) The Baptist Poopers of the Midwest

(c) Memorial Baptist Turdarium & Dry Cleaners

(d) Unlimited Liars and Poopers of America Church

(e) Phelps Would Love Your Poop Baptist Church