[George M. Middius]

Q: What would happen if Scottie Witlessmongrel designed road signs?
A: We'd have no signs because it's a well-known "fact" that people have
more important things to do than learn how to read.

Q: What would happen if Scottie Witlessmongrel were a politician?
A: The party he joined would nominate goldbricking religious ideologues
who drag the country into pointless, unwinnable wars and bankrupt the
Treasury. Oh, wait -- they don't need him for that. I'm sure Scottie
would "help" in some way, though.

Q: What would happen if Scottie Witlessmongrel worked in the food &
beverage industry?
A: They'd put out a version of cola flavored with extract of old, sweaty
shoes and call it "Pepsi Max".