Robert Morein said:

"I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument
on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me
at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite
me. - Dave Barry"


It brings Dave Barry to mind. In an earlier era, it might have been Mark
Twain (but not Will Rogers, note).