"Bob Morein" wrote in message


1. Arise; perform ablutions. Brush teeth -- not with electric
screwdriver.

Not to mention other use Singh has found for his power screwdriver unit.

2. Company Morning Exercise while singing Company
Song:http://jaimaharaj.reallysuckass.com/

Whatever.

3. Charge up Production Line. Charger base plugged in!

Which begs the question which power screwdriver Singh actually uses. Is he
using one of the made-in-China unknown-brand cheapies, a Skil, a B&D, or a
high-end Bosch? With or without torque control? Inquiring minds want to
know!

4. Visit Salvation Army/Good Will for more cabinet stuffing material.

Not to mention the opportunities for wardrobe and home decor enhancements.

5. Pick up cabinet subassemblies from subcontractor. Pay with IOU &
suck-up.

"Pay"? A skin-diving trip through nearby industrial park dumpsters should
provide plenty of scrapped packing crates that can be torn down and Elmer's
glued (or is that Liquid Nails - gives a better high Weil says) together
into speaker boxes.

6. Start up production line. Precision cybernetic actuators precision
drop drivers into baffle holes.

LOL!

7. Activate driver attachment procedure. Keep shirtsleeves clear of
rotating assembly.

Why use T-nuts and machine screws when #6 dry wall screws driven into 3/8"
flake board hold things together long enough to take pictures for the
cash-and-carry web site?

8. Fill bathtub for leaktest.

Fill boxes with dry peas. If there is no leak larger than a dry pea, then
it's gud enuf!

9. Water accepts speaker gratefully. Stop production line.

Lots of peas on the floor. or is that pee on the floor?

10. Hot glue gun, telephone books, chair, more books.

Singh has discovered that if you push packing foam beans from dumpster
searches through his hot melt glue gun he can save big bucks on glue sticks
from Wal Mart.

11. Remove drivers to insert missing gasket.

....if he notices it's not there.

12. Bathtub overflow shorts out electric screwdriver. Consider
insurance claim.

That would be "Mom's Insurance Company". As long as the Social Security
system is sending out checks, Singh's source of venture capital is secure.

13. Speakers sound excellent! Celebrate by getting drunk before
listening.

Reverse order of operations for true story.

14. Label speakers with matching left/right serial numbers.

Serial numbers taken from winning numbers from Illinois Lottery system to
make it appear that production is booming.

15. Last minute hammer binding post straight/crack connector cup/fill
with hot glue/sand/boot polish.

Binding posts? The web site shows one thing, but actual production
leverages off the *magic* of number six drywall screws. If you pay extra
Singh adds brass washers in a tribute to Ellis.

16. Why did boxes shrink? Insert speakers with heavy pressure/rip off
veneer corners/ remember to file insurance claim with UPS.

You seriously think that Singh pays extra for UPS insurance on over $1000
per pair? LOL!

17. Marketing meeting: Decide to make website more "hetero" appeal.

Hey if it works for The Learning Channel, why can't it work for Singh?

18. Relax, listen to Radio Shack LX-4.

Too bad about the left channel's tweeter.

19. In dream, triumph over Morein, Krueger, Lionel, McKelvy, &
Oberlander with Stereophile Class A Review.

If Shain the Atkinson panderer couldn't get a Stereophile Review for
Vergence (R.I.P.) do you think that Singh the Atkinson antagonist could do
any better? Really now, folks.

20. Wake up and read this.

Cold hard reality strikes Singh again, just like getting fired from his
menial job at Simply Stereo.