View Full Version : Weathersafe Unbrellas
WeatherSafeUmbrellaCompany
March 21st 06, 02:21 AM
We apologize for this intrusion into your newsgroup, but our company,
WeatherSafe Umbrella Company (symbol: WESUC) market an umbrella with
important safety features.
Did you know?
* An ordinary umbrella is a lethal shock hazard when used in areas of high
atmospheric electricity
* Lightning strikes without warning. Even on Sunny Days -- the so-called
Bolt from the Blue
* If lightning strikes your umbrella, you could be made miserable.
The WESUC braintrust changes all that. Thanks to the genius of Francois
"FU2" Yves Le Gal, Arny "If Irony Killed" Krueger, and Trevor "No fun"
Wilson, WESUC patented safety innovations protect the umbrella wearer,
under the most adverse conditions. WESUC umbrellas come with a lifetime
money-back guarantee if anyone is killed while using a properly configured
WESUC umbrella.
The secret of WESUC success is our patented Clanking Chain which trails from
the umbrella handle. A featherweight 30 pounds, this chain can sink even the
most potent lighting strike: the dreaded Superbolt. The end of the chain is
terminated in an electrically optimal garden rake end, designed to dig and
drag to perfection, enabling it to sink hundreds of thousands of amperes.
Please observe the following cautions while using your WESUC umbrella:
The WESUC Clanking Chain connects to the umbrella by a locking IEC
connector. It must not be tampered with.
Do not allow the umbrella to become wet.
The device must not be used with an extension cord.
If the Clanking Chain becomes damaged, it must be disposed of before some
little tyke figures out how to kill himself.
It must not be joked about. If the umbrella is joked about, it will lose
effectiveness.
About our staff:
Francois Yves Legal has fifteen years experience in the disposal of power
cords that have unsafe pigtails.
Arny Krueger invented a box that nobody uses. Also, he pursues our enemies.
Trevor Wilson has a big temper and a loud voice. Thanks to his merciless
thrashing of umbrellas, we have a product that can be folded and unfolded at
least twice on a calm day.
The WESUC team is here for you: Francois "FU2" Yves Le Gal, Arny "LOt'S
Krueger, and Trevor "No Fun" Wilson
George M. Middius
March 21st 06, 02:32 AM
Bobo said:
> * If lightning strikes your umbrella, you could be made miserable.
Even in the Arizona desert? (Don't look now, but Scottie is pining for you.)
WeatherSafeUmbrellaCompany wrote:
> We apologize for this intrusion into your newsgroup, but our company,
> WeatherSafe Umbrella Company (symbol: WESUC) market an umbrella with
> important safety features.
>
> Did you know?
> * An ordinary umbrella is a lethal shock hazard when used in areas of high
> atmospheric electricity
> * Lightning strikes without warning. Even on Sunny Days -- the so-called
> Bolt from the Blue
> * If lightning strikes your umbrella, you could be made miserable.
>
> The WESUC braintrust changes all that. Thanks to the genius of Francois
> "FU2" Yves Le Gal, Arny "If Irony Killed" Krueger, and Trevor "No fun"
> Wilson, WESUC patented safety innovations protect the umbrella wearer,
> under the most adverse conditions. WESUC umbrellas come with a lifetime
> money-back guarantee if anyone is killed while using a properly configured
> WESUC umbrella.
>
> The secret of WESUC success is our patented Clanking Chain which trails from
> the umbrella handle. A featherweight 30 pounds, this chain can sink even the
> most potent lighting strike: the dreaded Superbolt. The end of the chain is
> terminated in an electrically optimal garden rake end, designed to dig and
> drag to perfection, enabling it to sink hundreds of thousands of amperes.
>
> Please observe the following cautions while using your WESUC umbrella:
> The WESUC Clanking Chain connects to the umbrella by a locking IEC
> connector. It must not be tampered with.
> Do not allow the umbrella to become wet.
> The device must not be used with an extension cord.
> If the Clanking Chain becomes damaged, it must be disposed of before some
> little tyke figures out how to kill himself.
> It must not be joked about. If the umbrella is joked about, it will lose
> effectiveness.
>
> About our staff:
> Francois Yves Legal has fifteen years experience in the disposal of power
> cords that have unsafe pigtails.
> Arny Krueger invented a box that nobody uses. Also, he pursues our enemies.
> Trevor Wilson has a big temper and a loud voice. Thanks to his merciless
> thrashing of umbrellas, we have a product that can be folded and unfolded at
> least twice on a calm day.
>
> The WESUC team is here for you: Francois "FU2" Yves Le Gal, Arny "LOt'S
> Krueger, and Trevor "No Fun" Wilson
Has the Empire of One struck?
My money back if I'm dead !!
Give the marketing execs stock options, they desire it.
I doubt Robert is behind this thinly veiled post.
It looks like pure.......................................ad hominem
Trevor Wilson
March 21st 06, 02:58 AM
"WeatherSafeUmbrellaCompany" > wrote in message
...
> We apologize for this intrusion into your newsgroup, but our company,
> WeatherSafe Umbrella Company (symbol: WESUC) market an umbrella with
> important safety features.
>
> Did you know?
> * An ordinary umbrella is a lethal shock hazard when used in areas of high
> atmospheric electricity
> * Lightning strikes without warning. Even on Sunny Days -- the so-called
> Bolt from the Blue
> * If lightning strikes your umbrella, you could be made miserable.
>
> The WESUC braintrust changes all that. Thanks to the genius of Francois
> "FU2" Yves Le Gal, Arny "If Irony Killed" Krueger, and Trevor "No fun"
> Wilson, WESUC patented safety innovations protect the umbrella wearer,
> under the most adverse conditions. WESUC umbrellas come with a lifetime
> money-back guarantee if anyone is killed while using a properly configured
> WESUC umbrella.
>
> The secret of WESUC success is our patented Clanking Chain which trails
> from the umbrella handle. A featherweight 30 pounds, this chain can sink
> even the most potent lighting strike: the dreaded Superbolt. The end of
> the chain is terminated in an electrically optimal garden rake end,
> designed to dig and drag to perfection, enabling it to sink hundreds of
> thousands of amperes.
>
> Please observe the following cautions while using your WESUC umbrella:
> The WESUC Clanking Chain connects to the umbrella by a locking IEC
> connector. It must not be tampered with.
> Do not allow the umbrella to become wet.
> The device must not be used with an extension cord.
> If the Clanking Chain becomes damaged, it must be disposed of before some
> little tyke figures out how to kill himself.
> It must not be joked about. If the umbrella is joked about, it will lose
> effectiveness.
>
> About our staff:
> Francois Yves Legal has fifteen years experience in the disposal of power
> cords that have unsafe pigtails.
> Arny Krueger invented a box that nobody uses. Also, he pursues our
> enemies.
> Trevor Wilson has a big temper and a loud voice. Thanks to his merciless
> thrashing of umbrellas, we have a product that can be folded and unfolded
> at least twice on a calm day.
>
> The WESUC team is here for you: Francois "FU2" Yves Le Gal, Arny "LOt'S
> Krueger, and Trevor "No Fun" Wilson
**ROTFLMAO!
--
Trevor Wilson
www.rageaudio.com.au
Robert Morein
March 21st 06, 02:03 PM
"Trevor Wilson" > wrote in message
...
>
[snip]
>
> **ROTFLMAO!
>
Trevor,
Thanks for appreciating the humor. Very much to your credit.
Bob Morein
WeatherSafeUmbrellaCompany wrote:
> We apologize for this intrusion into your newsgroup, but our company,
> WeatherSafe Umbrella Company (symbol: WESUC) market an umbrella with
> important safety features.
>
> Did you know?
> * An ordinary umbrella is a lethal shock hazard when used in areas of high
> atmospheric electricity
> * Lightning strikes without warning. Even on Sunny Days -- the so-called
> Bolt from the Blue
> * If lightning strikes your umbrella, you could be made miserable.
> Krueger, and Trevor "No Fun" Wilson
Even with a "weathersafe" umbrella, any one of those dweebs would
probably poke their eyes out just trying to figure out how to open the
thing. You can never design abject stupidity out of the equasion, no
matter what.
Anyway, before you patent the invention, I'd like to point out that the
"weathersafe" umbrella has already been invented. I have one you, see.
It's no ordinary umbrella, either. It's windproof, and lightning-safe.
A little lighter than 30 lbs but still, quite large. It is, note, the
world's best umbrella.
dave weil
March 22nd 06, 09:43 AM
On 21 Mar 2006 23:55:43 -0800, wrote:
>Anyway, before you patent the invention, I'd like to point out that the
>"weathersafe" umbrella has already been invented. I have one you, see.
>It's no ordinary umbrella, either. It's windproof, and lightning-safe.
>A little lighter than 30 lbs but still, quite large. It is, note, the
>world's best umbrella.
Everyone's got a garbage bag or two lying around the house. This is no
revelation.
BTW, I understand that your system is made better by your mum writing
your name on your underwear. Is it better when she writes in block
letters or is cursive the real deal?
wrote:
> WeatherSafeUmbrellaCompany wrote:
>
> > We apologize for this intrusion into your newsgroup, but our company,
> > WeatherSafe Umbrella Company (symbol: WESUC) market an umbrella with
> > important safety features.
> >
> > Did you know?
> > * An ordinary umbrella is a lethal shock hazard when used in areas of high
> > atmospheric electricity
> > * Lightning strikes without warning. Even on Sunny Days -- the so-called
> > Bolt from the Blue
> > * If lightning strikes your umbrella, you could be made miserable.
> > Krueger, and Trevor "No Fun" Wilson
>
> Even with a "weathersafe" umbrella, any one of those dweebs would
> probably poke their eyes out just trying to figure out how to open the
> thing. You can never design abject stupidity out of the equasion, no
> matter what.
>
> Anyway, before you patent the invention, I'd like to point out that the
> "weathersafe" umbrella has already been invented. I have one you, see.
> It's no ordinary umbrella, either. It's windproof, and lightning-safe.
> A little lighter than 30 lbs but still, quite large. It is, note, the
> world's best umbrella.
You just keep telling yourself that, no doubts it's the truth in your
application, the shower.
dave weil wrote:
> On 21 Mar 2006 23:55:43 -0800, wrote:
>
> >Anyway, before you patent the invention, I'd like to point out that the
> >"weathersafe" umbrella has already been invented. I have one you, see.
> >It's no ordinary umbrella, either. It's windproof, and lightning-safe.
> >A little lighter than 30 lbs but still, quite large. It is, note, the
> >world's best umbrella.
>
> Everyone's got a garbage bag or two lying around the house. This is no
> revelation.
I'm sure you look the business strutting around the neighbourhood
with your fancy "garbage bag umbrella" Weill, and no doubt your mum
must be very proud of the money you saved by not purchasing an
umbrella. You're gonna have a fat little piggy bank at the end of the
year, I'm sure of it. Maybe when you crack it open, you'll find
just enough to get yourself a "real" umbrella, like you see the "big
shots" carrying.
Speaking of which.... I can afford it, so I chose to "splurge" on
getting a proper umbrella while I'm still alive. To each his own,
garbage boy.
bassett
March 23rd 06, 08:15 AM
> wrote in message
oups.com...
>
> wrote:
>> WeatherSafeUmbrellaCompany wrote:
>>
>> > We apologize for this intrusion into your newsgroup, but our company,
>> > WeatherSafe Umbrella Company (symbol: WESUC) market an umbrella with
>> > important safety features.
>> >
>> > Did you know?
>> > * An ordinary umbrella is a lethal shock hazard when used in areas of
>> > high
>> > atmospheric electricity
>> > * Lightning strikes without warning. Even on Sunny Days -- the
>> > so-called
>> > Bolt from the Blue
>> > * If lightning strikes your umbrella, you could be made miserable.
>> > Krueger, and Trevor "No Fun" Wilson
>>
>> Even with a "weathersafe" umbrella, any one of those dweebs would
>> probably poke their eyes out just trying to figure out how to open the
>> thing. You can never design abject stupidity out of the equasion, no
>> matter what.
>>
>> Anyway, before you patent the invention, I'd like to point out that the
>> "weathersafe" umbrella has already been invented. I have one you, see.
>> It's no ordinary umbrella, either. It's windproof, and lightning-safe.
>> A little lighter than 30 lbs but still, quite large. It is, note, the
>> world's best umbrella.
>
> You just keep telling yourself that, no doubts it's the truth in your
> application, the shower.
I have a lot of trouble with Umbrella's. I,m too long, too short, and the
only place to hold the thing is if I shove the handle up my arse, then my
ear's get wet.
bassett
dave weil
March 23rd 06, 12:24 PM
On 22 Mar 2006 20:07:03 -0800, wrote:
>Speaking of which.... I can afford it, so I chose to "splurge" on
>getting a proper umbrella while I'm still alive.
Oh, I've GOT a bamboo umbrella that I use in thunderstorms, thank you
very much.
But garbage bags seemed to be right up your aspirin and
oragami-lugging ass.
Garbage Boy wrote:
> On 22 Mar 2006 20:07:03 -0800, wrote:
>
> >Speaking of which.... I can afford it, so I chose to "splurge" on
> >getting a proper umbrella while I'm still alive.
>
> Oh, I've GOT a bamboo umbrella that I use in thunderstorms, thank you
> very much.
Hmmm.... now that you mention it, that might be enough to explain why
you're as dense as English fog. I'm sure you and Goofball have a lot to
talk about. There's some more carrot sticks in the cooler, don't
forget. ;-)
dave weil
March 23rd 06, 05:53 PM
On 23 Mar 2006 09:15:11 -0800, wrote:
>
>Garbage Boy wrote:
>
>> On 22 Mar 2006 20:07:03 -0800, wrote:
>>
>> >Speaking of which.... I can afford it, so I chose to "splurge" on
>> >getting a proper umbrella while I'm still alive.
>>
>> Oh, I've GOT a bamboo umbrella that I use in thunderstorms, thank you
>> very much.
>
>Hmmm.... now that you mention it, that might be enough to explain why
>you're as dense as English fog. I'm sure you and Goofball have a lot to
>talk about. There's some more carrot sticks in the cooler, don't
>forget. ;-)
Yep, still not very swift, I see.
dave weil wrote:
> On 23 Mar 2006 09:15:11 -0800, wrote:
>
> >
> >Garbage Boy wrote:
> >
> >> On 22 Mar 2006 20:07:03 -0800, wrote:
> >>
> >> >Speaking of which.... I can afford it, so I chose to "splurge" on
> >> >getting a proper umbrella while I'm still alive.
> >>
> >> Oh, I've GOT a bamboo umbrella that I use in thunderstorms, thank you
> >> very much.
> >
> >Hmmm.... now that you mention it, that might be enough to explain why
> >you're as dense as English fog. I'm sure you and Goofball have a lot to
> >talk about. There's some more carrot sticks in the cooler, don't
> >forget. ;-)
>
> Yep, still not very swift, I see.
Well don't worry. Maybe you'll get it on the next go-round.
dave weil
March 23rd 06, 07:27 PM
On 23 Mar 2006 11:19:05 -0800, wrote:
>> Yep, still not very swift, I see.
>
>Well don't worry. Maybe you'll get it on the next go-round.
Are you still hanging around, swiftie?
George M. Middius
March 23rd 06, 08:52 PM
dave weil said to Shovels:
> Are you still hanging around, swiftie?
Have you noticed how rabid Shovels has become since you started sparring
with him? Apparently you touched a nerve. I found the site where his true
life's work is on display:
http://www.interlife.org/secrets.html
--
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