Bret L
November 26th 09, 07:14 AM
Tube Chickens
Unashamedly swiped from - http://www.harpamps.com/micKtubes/Tube-Chickens.html
How various tube chickens cross the road
Audio Research chicken: Crosses the road if you send it in for a
factory upgrade first.
VTL chicken: Crosses the road only if you can collect on the
lifetime warranty.
Dynaco chicken: Almost always crosses the road, even with some
broken bones, it'll usually limp across anyway.Often looked down on,
even by chickens that can't cross the road.
Ongaku chicken: Crosses the road only if you pay it $60,000 first.
Stereophile chicken: Clucks a lot of incoherent babble while
crossing the road.
Single Ended chicken: Crosses only very efficient roads.
Marantz chicken: Crosses the road very carefully to avoid getting
scratched.
Homebrew chicken: Sometimes has beak on its tail and wings where
it's feet should be, but usually manages to get across anyway.
Jadis chicken: Needs a new set of a dozen 6550's almost every time
it crosses the road.
845 chicken: If you touch it while it's crossing the road, you
might get a 1000 volt shock.
Tube relabeller chicken: Puts new feathers on your chicken, then
charges your chicken five times the going rate to cross the road.
Sometimes seen doing things like putting green feathers on a Rhode
Island Red.
OTL chicken: Gets so hot it melts the road tar while crossnig.
AtmaSphere chicken: The feathers cost 2 cents each, but the
chicken costs $10,000
Heathkit chicken: If it won't cross the road, re-read the
instruction book.
Really old Western Electric chicken: A forklift has to pick it up
and carry it across the road.
British chicken: While crossing the road, slows down every so
often to walk around in circles with other chickens. Often makes
detours for a “pint” while crossing. Appears to find it amusing to
confuse American chickens.
Aussie chicken: Crosses the road, but complains loudly about
“pommie” and “septic” chickens while doing so. Wants other chickens to
see road from it's point of view: upside down. Accuses Kiwi chicken of
fraternizing with sheep.
Kiwi chicken: American chickens often mistake it for a British
chicken.
Magazine Reviewer Chicken: Crosses road. States all older roads
crossed were inferior and dirty, and can't believe he ever crossed
them.
Neurotic Chicken: Before crossing road, dampens it with Sound
Coat, lines it with Shakti Stones and VPI bricks, wears tennis shoes
with Sorbothane soles. Places amp clamp on his beak. Reads numerous
maps and travel books. Crosses road. Changes roads in two weeks.
Newbie Chicken (attemping to impress other chickens): States that
while crossing road...listens to “everything from rock to classical”.
In reality listens to Paula Abdul, Basia, and Janet Jackson.
American chicken: Will cross road only when fitted with a $100M EFMU
(Empowerment Facility Module Unit) upgrade. Once fitted, chicken
proceeds to cross road lengthwise, but does the “hard yards” despite
ridicule from British, Aussie and Kiwi chickens.
“Ah, a sense of humor - where would we be without it?”
“Germany I expect.”
Unashamedly swiped from - http://www.harpamps.com/micKtubes/Tube-Chickens.html
How various tube chickens cross the road
Audio Research chicken: Crosses the road if you send it in for a
factory upgrade first.
VTL chicken: Crosses the road only if you can collect on the
lifetime warranty.
Dynaco chicken: Almost always crosses the road, even with some
broken bones, it'll usually limp across anyway.Often looked down on,
even by chickens that can't cross the road.
Ongaku chicken: Crosses the road only if you pay it $60,000 first.
Stereophile chicken: Clucks a lot of incoherent babble while
crossing the road.
Single Ended chicken: Crosses only very efficient roads.
Marantz chicken: Crosses the road very carefully to avoid getting
scratched.
Homebrew chicken: Sometimes has beak on its tail and wings where
it's feet should be, but usually manages to get across anyway.
Jadis chicken: Needs a new set of a dozen 6550's almost every time
it crosses the road.
845 chicken: If you touch it while it's crossing the road, you
might get a 1000 volt shock.
Tube relabeller chicken: Puts new feathers on your chicken, then
charges your chicken five times the going rate to cross the road.
Sometimes seen doing things like putting green feathers on a Rhode
Island Red.
OTL chicken: Gets so hot it melts the road tar while crossnig.
AtmaSphere chicken: The feathers cost 2 cents each, but the
chicken costs $10,000
Heathkit chicken: If it won't cross the road, re-read the
instruction book.
Really old Western Electric chicken: A forklift has to pick it up
and carry it across the road.
British chicken: While crossing the road, slows down every so
often to walk around in circles with other chickens. Often makes
detours for a “pint” while crossing. Appears to find it amusing to
confuse American chickens.
Aussie chicken: Crosses the road, but complains loudly about
“pommie” and “septic” chickens while doing so. Wants other chickens to
see road from it's point of view: upside down. Accuses Kiwi chicken of
fraternizing with sheep.
Kiwi chicken: American chickens often mistake it for a British
chicken.
Magazine Reviewer Chicken: Crosses road. States all older roads
crossed were inferior and dirty, and can't believe he ever crossed
them.
Neurotic Chicken: Before crossing road, dampens it with Sound
Coat, lines it with Shakti Stones and VPI bricks, wears tennis shoes
with Sorbothane soles. Places amp clamp on his beak. Reads numerous
maps and travel books. Crosses road. Changes roads in two weeks.
Newbie Chicken (attemping to impress other chickens): States that
while crossing road...listens to “everything from rock to classical”.
In reality listens to Paula Abdul, Basia, and Janet Jackson.
American chicken: Will cross road only when fitted with a $100M EFMU
(Empowerment Facility Module Unit) upgrade. Once fitted, chicken
proceeds to cross road lengthwise, but does the “hard yards” despite
ridicule from British, Aussie and Kiwi chickens.
“Ah, a sense of humor - where would we be without it?”
“Germany I expect.”