[George M. Middius[_4_]]

It's that time of the week again. The Krooborg is girding its nether
regions for another withering assault from Pastor Matt. The Beast's visit
to church always ends the same way: Come Monday, Turdborg drags its
miserable ass back to Usenet and acts out its stinging frustration from the
humiliations of spending a few hours among its devout and repentant
neighbors.

Nevertheless, we on RAO should support Mr. **** in its feeble efforts to
prepare for its weekly contemplation of the Almighty. Did y'all know
Turdborg has a catechism it calls "The En-juh-near's Prayer"? It's on his
miserable excuse for a web site, which, by the way, hasn't been updated in,
like, ten years. The relics of Turdy's pathetic career can be spotted,
including a crooked deal he signed with the dentist who made his dentures.

For the benefit of any interested Normals, the Resistance has attempted to
decode the nonsenical prattle in Mr. ****'s ridiculous "prayer". Herewith a
Normalized version of the stinky **** that the Krooborg tries to pass off
as "faith".



Engineer's Prayer

Translation: Sicicccnnnece is for loosers.

Dear Lord, Almighty God; Maker of the Universe and mo

Translation: I, Arnii F. Krooborg, am a disgusting piece of crap.
Please smite me, O Lord.

In your mercy, glory and power, which so rapidly approached and now
uniquely circumscribes infinity, because you created it.

Translation: Hey God, how'd you like my vocab exercise? I got
all that sh*i*t from the Booble. I have an extra copy if you, y'know,
haven't read it yet.

Please grant me the wisdom to know what should be readily and effectively
analyzed, and what should be understood intuitively.

Translation: Still working on my "One Day Without Snotting" token.

Please grant me the mathematical skills, theoretical knowledge, and
computational power to analyze what should be analyzed.

Translation: Yes of course I went to school. What does that have to do
with anything? I'm prayin' here!

Please grant me the experimental and statistical skills to determine
experimentally what should determined experimentally.

Translation: If I knew how to bust out of a wet paper bag, do you
think I'd bother hauling my sorry ass to chruch™ every dam' Sunday?

Please grant me the project management and optimization skills to use all
the resources which you have graciously and undeservedly placed at my
disposal, to their fullest.

Translation: The "management" part is purely hypothetical. All of my
"trainees" are in therapy or Witness Protection.

Finally, Dear Lord, please grant me adequate funding and time so I can eat,
work, and even occasionally relax comfortably; while I am having all this
"fun"! I will take time to praise, study and worship you regardless.

Translation: This is just in case the Kroobitch realizes the dowry was
a one-shot donation for the propagation of Kroofulness.

Proverbs 2:6 For the LORD gives wisdom, and from his mouth come knowledge
and understanding.

Translation: I haven't fooled any Normals yet, O Lord. Please cover
me with more crap so maybe they won't recognize me, k?