I am God. You are mere flesh and blood. You will obey my commands or
pay the consequences!

You have abrogated many of our previous agreements. I grant many
divulgences to mere animals. I admit that my evolution scheme is not
perfect.

That being said, Arnold Krueger, my patience wears thin. I have looked
back through our previous agreements. I now choose to enforce
Agreement 16, which you accepted in 1988 and agreed to follow upon
pain of the forfeiture of your soul. Agreement 16 reads as follows:

"I, Arnold Krueger, being a mere animal who lives in the dirt, will
stop lying so much. I accept the judgment of the Almighty, whose
evolution continues to progress, that I tell way too many lies. I
therefore affirm that I will cut down my lies by a minimum of 2/3. I
accept that each calendar week shall serve as the countable temporal
container of lies, and that the baseline point of comparison shall be
the average weekly number of lies I told during the year 1985. I
accept the terms of the Almighty for enforcement of this agreement, to
wit: The Almighty shall inform me when I have exceeded the agreed
parameter for maximum number of lies. If I tell more lies than I have
agreed for any two consecutive weeks, I accept that the Almighty may
punish me as the Almighty sees fit. Said punishment to consist of any
sort of pestilence, disruption of my existence, or imposition of pain
and suffering, up to and including immediate forfeiture of my soul."

You signed this agreement, Arnold Krueger, and now the time has come
for you to honor it. I have been forgiving of your trespasses for many
years because of your infirmities. But now I accept that you have no
intention of honoring this agreement. Therefore you are on notice that
your very soul is in jeopardy.

God
The Almighty

"Voice of God" wrote in message
om...
I am God. You are mere flesh and blood. You will obey my commands or
pay the consequences!

You have abrogated many of our previous agreements. I grant many
divulgences to mere animals. I admit that my evolution scheme is not
perfect.

That being said, Arnold Krueger, my patience wears thin. I have looked
back through our previous agreements. I now choose to enforce
Agreement 16, which you accepted in 1988 and agreed to follow upon
pain of the forfeiture of your soul. Agreement 16 reads as follows:

"I, Arnold Krueger, being a mere animal who lives in the dirt, will
stop lying so much. I accept the judgment of the Almighty, whose
evolution continues to progress, that I tell way too many lies.

Now just an eternity! I have a preexisting contract with Arny Krueger, which
binds his soul over to me in return for valuable intellectual ****. You
don't think he invented ABX on his own, do you? I gave it to him.

You ask why? I got mankind thrown out of paradise 5,000 years ago. Lately,
I've heard that some audiophiles have achieved "nirvana." This is too damn
close to paradise for my comfort. So I gave Arny ABX to throw these *******s
into the miserable, seething pit of existence shared by the rest of mankind.
I bid Arny assault their happiness with ABX, and in return, I grant him
dominion over rec.audio.opinion. Alright, I got it cheap, but Arny's a
stupid putz.

See you in Court, God. You won't win this one. I got you cold.

ABX is the work of the Devil! (TM).