[Andre Jute]

Is Fatarse Candy Mountain

a) the name of a pair of hills on the Utah Badlands?

b) Yon Yaeger's jailhouse shower monicker?

c) Peter Wieck's Saturday night squeeze ("He's such a gentleman, he
always leaves the right money on the mantelpiece.")?

d) None of the above?

Enquiring minds want to know.

Andre Jute
"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the
world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that
but not with all those flies and death and stuff."
--- Mariah Carey.

[Lord Valve]

Andre Jute wrote:

Is Fatarse Candy Mountain

a) the name of a pair of hills on the Utah Badlands?

Not to my knowledge, but... I'm an urban sort, y'see...

b) Yon Yaeger's jailhouse shower monicker?

ROFL

c) Peter Wieck's Saturday night squeeze ("He's such a gentleman, he
always leaves the right money on the mantelpiece.")?

Ewwwwww....well, at least he's gainfully employed.

d) None of the above?

What do I get if I guess right?

Enquiring minds want to know.

Andre Jute
"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the
world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that
but not with all those flies and death and stuff."
--- Mariah Carey.

Is that a real quote? Astonishing.

Lord Valve
Fat-arse (I contend it should be hyphenated, if you insist on using
the non-American form. "Fatass" leaves no doubt as to pronunciation.
You know how I obsess over **** like that. ;-)

[Andre Jute]

Lord Valve wrote:
Andre Jute wrote:

Is Fatarse Candy Mountain

a) the name of a pair of hills on the Utah Badlands?

Not to my knowledge, but... I'm an urban sort, y'see...

b) Yon Yaeger's jailhouse shower monicker?

ROFL

c) Peter Wieck's Saturday night squeeze ("He's such a gentleman, he
always leaves the right money on the mantelpiece.")?

Ewwwwww....well, at least he's gainfully employed.

Worthless may be paid for press-ganging poor immigrants for grunt
labour. But whether what he does is productive defines whether it is
"gainful" to anyone but himself. He's called Worthless for a reason.

d) None of the above?

What do I get if I guess right?

Second prize is *two* weeks in Detroit.

Enquiring minds want to know.

Andre Jute
"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the
world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that
but not with all those flies and death and stuff."
--- Mariah Carey.

Is that a real quote? Astonishing.

I found that one but my friend Peter Allen collected a whole pageful
(page-full, just for you) of astounding examples of model-speak. I
assume Carey's a model. If she's not, she should be; she already has
the major qualification: perfectly exclusive narcissism -- "all those
flies and death" followed by the killer phrase "and stuff". Tom Wolfe,
the supreme diarist of candy-colored (just for you, twice) metal-flake
(thrice) excess, couldn't invent that.

Lord Valve
Fat-arse (I contend it should be hyphenated, if you insist on using
the non-American form. "Fatass" leaves no doubt as to pronunciation.
You know how I obsess over **** like that. ;-)

I put that in just to push your button, Willie. Everyone knows you
have the fastest organ in the West.

But that's how they speak in Boston, too, very broadly; a literary
protege of mine from your part of the world studied at MIT and she can
be wickedly funny about Boston speech. But the truth is, they speak
better English in the five founding colonies, now States, than in most
parts of England today. That is because the American language, despite
its inventiveness, has in fact developed less than in the Anglo-Saxon-
Jute homeland.

Andre "Vidal the stylist (1)" Jute
Visit Andre's books at http://members.lycos.co.uk/fiultra/

(1) "Er, Victoria, that's Gore, not Sassoon."

[Andre Jute]

You're absolutely right, m'Lord Valve, and I can only say I hope you
won't gloat about it. The lady's name is not Fatarse Candy Mountain
but Fattarz Candy Mountain. Her deeply tragic story starts with her
first appearance on RAT:
http://groups.google.ie/group/rec.au...d8cce010e81055

After that she was betrayed by "mr bret" [Ludwig], apparently
abandoned by him in Philly because he hankered for an instant return
to the wide open spaces, or perhaps he just saw a debt collector he
recognized. Even her faithful donkey, an intrinsic part of her act as
an exotic performance artist (don't ask!), has betrayed her to run off
with a female impersonator who promised to get the donkey a slot in
Carnivale, a freak show on television.

But that's not the worst of this tragic story. Poor Fattarz has now
fallen into the hands of Worthless "The Janitor" Wieck, who apparently
in a property he "manages" also manages a menagery of-- how shall I
put it? --exotic performance artists who give audiences to single
males. On Saturday night Worthless comes around for his "taste".
Cccording to Fattarz: "He just want to look and talk about how unhappy
he is. Not surprising he can't do it. Cat got bigger thing than him.
Donkey sneer at him. Even lapdog laugh at him." I think we can take
her word for it and draw the curtain over the rest of the sordid
details.

What next for this poor woman? She might fall into the hands of the
garage vermin Jon-John-Jono Yaeger. Oh, woe! (Unfortunately I can't
share further instalments with you as I have sold her life story to
the BBC as a pilot for a new show called "Lesser Lives".)

Be good.

Hyphen Boston

Lord Valve wrote:
Andre Jute wrote:

Is Fatarse Candy Mountain

a) the name of a pair of hills on the Utah Badlands?

Not to my knowledge, but... I'm an urban sort, y'see...

b) Yon Yaeger's jailhouse shower monicker?

ROFL

c) Peter Wieck's Saturday night squeeze ("He's such a gentleman, he
always leaves the right money on the mantelpiece.")?

Ewwwwww....well, at least he's gainfully employed.

d) None of the above?

What do I get if I guess right?

Enquiring minds want to know.

Andre Jute
"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the
world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that
but not with all those flies and death and stuff."
--- Mariah Carey.

Is that a real quote? Astonishing.

Lord Valve
Fat-arse (I contend it should be hyphenated, if you insist on using
the non-American form. "Fatass" leaves no doubt as to pronunciation.
You know how I obsess over **** like that. ;-)

[Peter Wieck]

Y'all deserve each other.

McCoy & Valvy sittin' in a tree...

A June Civil Union is planned in Runnemede, New Jersey, William
McGreevy presiding. Cash in lieu of flowers and gifts may be sent to:

http://www.irish-counselling.ie/index.htm

http://www.angermanagementseminar.co.../Colorado.html

The Wille-McCoys will be re-locating to Belfast, Northern Ireland.

Peter Wieck
Wyncote, PA

[west[_3_]]

"Andre Jute" wrote in message
oups.com...

Lord Valve wrote:
Andre Jute wrote:

Is Fatarse Candy Mountain

a) the name of a pair of hills on the Utah Badlands?

Not to my knowledge, but... I'm an urban sort, y'see...

b) Yon Yaeger's jailhouse shower monicker?

ROFL

c) Peter Wieck's Saturday night squeeze ("He's such a gentleman, he
always leaves the right money on the mantelpiece.")?

Ewwwwww....well, at least he's gainfully employed.

Worthless may be paid for press-ganging poor immigrants for grunt
labour. But whether what he does is productive defines whether it is
"gainful" to anyone but himself. He's called Worthless for a reason.

d) None of the above?

What do I get if I guess right?

Second prize is *two* weeks in Detroit.

Enquiring minds want to know.

Andre Jute
"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the
world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that
but not with all those flies and death and stuff."
--- Mariah Carey.

Is that a real quote? Astonishing.

I found that one but my friend Peter Allen collected a whole pageful
(page-full, just for you) of astounding examples of model-speak. I
assume Carey's a model. If she's not, she should be; she already has
the major qualification: perfectly exclusive narcissism -- "all those
flies and death" followed by the killer phrase "and stuff". Tom Wolfe,
the supreme diarist of candy-colored (just for you, twice) metal-flake
(thrice) excess, couldn't invent that.

Lord Valve
Fat-arse (I contend it should be hyphenated, if you insist on using
the non-American form. "Fatass" leaves no doubt as to pronunciation.
You know how I obsess over **** like that. ;-)

I put that in just to push your button, Willie. Everyone knows you
have the fastest organ in the West.

But that's how they speak in Boston, too, very broadly; a literary
protege of mine from your part of the world studied at MIT and she can
be wickedly funny about Boston speech. But the truth is, they speak
better English in the five founding colonies, now States, than in most
parts of England today. That is because the American language, despite
its inventiveness, has in fact developed less than in the Anglo-Saxon-
Jute homeland.

Andre "Vidal the stylist (1)" Jute
Visit Andre's books at http://members.lycos.co.uk/fiultra/

(1) "Er, Victoria, that's Gore, not Sassoon."

In the Colonies, I'd be more inclined to spell the killer phrase ... 'NStuff

west