True Audiophile Rules : Rule No 1. It must be outrageously expensive

Rule No 1. It must be outrageously expensive. If this equipment is used in your house then it should approach and preferably surpass the cost of your home. If it in your car then it should cost more than the new cost of a current year of model you drive. We can, of course, disregard road noise.

Rule No 2. You're ears don't matter. What counts is what an oscilloscope shows. A dynamic range of 150 dB and a frequency response of 0 Hz (pure DC) to 40000 Hz for all components in your system. We can't hear the upper limit but the important thing is that our dogs can.

Rule No 3. The playback equipment must be better (or at least cost more) than the equipment in
the recording studia and/or the instruments in the orchestra or the band. Then we can accurately reproduce the distortion in the instruments and hear the couching of a gentleman sitting in the 12th row, to the left of the parterre in the auditorium.

Rule No 4. Analog recordings and reproduction equipment are always better than digital equipment. The only analog equipment, of course, are turntables, cartridge preamps, tone arms and the stylus of course. We can disregard the fact that the ampltude of the grooves in an LP physically limit the dynamic range to about 70dBs (best case scenario).

Rule No 5. Turntables must (1) weigh a lot and (2) cost a fortune. The continuum $50,000 turntable is a fine example. You need a forklift to haul the component into your home.

Rule No 6. If you absolute must use "gasp" a CD player, make sure that the transport and D/A sections are SEPARATE components. And make sure it supports SACD. And most importantly make sure it WEIGHS A LOT. The microprocessor, digital signal progessor, and firmware doesn't like bit streams that are delivered by a light component. My computer also WEIGHS in excess of 600 lbs. Why, because I'm worried that the pentium processor will perform worst if the computer can actually be lifted by one person.

Rule No 7. Cabling must be $1000's of dollars. No true audiophile is worth his/her salt if the power cable plugging into the 110V/60Hz or 220V/50Hz wall outlet does not cost several hundred dollars each. Of course we assume that the 12 gauge or 14 gauge regular house wiring in his/her home or condo was "scrapped" and rewired with "hospital" wiring. And of course the step down transformer on the street delivering power to the home was upgraded by the "audiohile".

Rule No 8. Don't EVER, EVER, EVER listen to FM radio, satellite radio (worse than FM) or MP3's.
Remember (even at 320 kbs ampling rate) they are still lossy.

Now I'm going to go and play back my ultrasonic dog whistle recording on my high-end system
and check how my dog responds. It makes me soooo excited just anticipating.

Have a wonderful day, all.


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"Incremental Addressing Folks" wrote in message
...
True Audiophile Rules : Rule No 1. It must be outrageously expensive

Rule No 1. It must be outrageously expensive. If this equipment is used in
your house then it should approach and preferably surpass the cost of your
home. If it in your car then it should cost more than the new cost of a
current year of model you drive. We can, of course, disregard road noise.

Can't we get around this by allowing famous names that were sold to China?
Ie., all the British speaker companies. They make stuff that LOOKS
expensive, till you pick it up.

Rule No 2. You're ears don't matter. What counts is what an oscilloscope
shows. A dynamic range of 150 dB and a frequency response of 0 Hz (pure DC)
to 40000 Hz for all components in your system. We can't hear the upper limit
but the important thing is that our dogs can.

How can this be? Expensive equipment frequently measures worse than
mid-price equipment.

Rule No 3. The playback equipment must be better (or at least cost more)
than the equipment in
the recording studia and/or the instruments in the orchestra or the band.
Then we can accurately reproduce the distortion in the instruments and hear
the couching of a gentleman sitting in the 12th row, to the left of the
parterre in the auditorium.

Remember, this stuff has to decorate a living room. The recording equipment
only has to be functional.

Rule No 4. Analog recordings and reproduction equipment are always better
than digital equipment. The only analog equipment, of course, are
turntables, cartridge preamps, tone arms and the stylus of course. We can
disregard the fact that the ampltude of the grooves in an LP physically
limit the dynamic range to about 70dBs (best case scenario).

Look, hifi clubs these days congregate at dealers who show off the analog
stuff amid wine and cheese. With digital, what would there be to talk about?
There isn't enough diversity in good digital sound to support a lively
scene.

Rule No 5. Turntables must (1) weigh a lot and (2) cost a fortune. The
continuum $50,000 turntable is a fine example. You need a forklift to haul
the component into your home.

Way back, a friend of mine made one out of a manhole cover. It sounded
"earthy."

Rule No 6. If you absolute must use "gasp" a CD player, make sure that the
transport and D/A sections are SEPARATE components. And make sure it
supports SACD. And most importantly make sure it WEIGHS A LOT. The
microprocessor, digital signal progessor, and firmware doesn't like bit
streams that are delivered by a light component. My computer also WEIGHS in
excess of 600 lbs. Why, because I'm worried that the pentium processor will
perform worst if the computer can actually be lifted by one person.

The effect of gravity waves and neutrinos is well known. Don't forget the
blue LEDs.

Rule No 7. Cabling must be $1000's of dollars. No true audiophile is worth
his/her salt if the power cable plugging into the 110V/60Hz or 220V/50Hz
wall outlet does not cost several hundred dollars each. Of course we assume
that the 12 gauge or 14 gauge regular house wiring in his/her home or condo
was "scrapped" and rewired with "hospital" wiring. And of course the step
down transformer on the street delivering power to the home was upgraded by
the "audiohile".

This is seriously wrong. The ONLY power supply suitable for audiophiles is
the Brown nuclear battery:
http://www.rexresearch.com/nucell/nucell.htm#colit


Rule No 8. Don't EVER, EVER, EVER listen to FM radio, satellite radio
(worse than FM) or MP3's.
Remember (even at 320 kbs ampling rate) they are still lossy.

Satirically given, I happen to agree with the advice, except for in-car use.

Now I'm going to go and play back my ultrasonic dog whistle recording on
my high-end system
and check how my dog responds. It makes me soooo excited just
anticipating.

Have a wonderful day, all.

May I suggest, for variety, Arny's recording of rattling keys?

Inexpensive or mid-priced equipment often sounds better than the most
expensive stuff.

However, good simple equipment built with some mass and build cost is
usually a better bet than the cheap stuff. Not only for sound but
longevity, repairability, and other factors.

wrote in message
ups.com...
Inexpensive or mid-priced equipment often sounds better than the most
expensive stuff.


Loudspeakers are "equipment". And you are the biggest blithering idiot
posting on RAO.

Cheers,

Margaret

So is your foul smelling yeastpit. Invest in a 55 gallon drum of
Massengill already so we can stop smelling that rank odor every time
you open your legs in front of your computer.

wrote in message
oups.com...
So is your foul smelling yeastpit. Invest in a 55 gallon drum of
Massengill already so we can stop smelling that rank odor every time
you open your legs in front of your computer.


What is your story anyway? Fall head first off the delivery table? :-)

Cheers,

Margaret

No, actually I was born on a sofa. This was probably beneficial to me,
but did ruin the sofa, which had to be reupholstered. To this day when
outraged at something I did, my mother questions if I was worth the
upholstery bill.