Jupiter Legal Services is offering a new service for the discerning Usenet
flamer. You've dreamed of this for years! "Your Own Personal Libel Suit"

Just think of the respect and adulation that you will receive from your
friends and neighbors when they see the relevant legal papers (suitable for
framing) on your family room wall! If there was ever a question in anybody's
mind (including your psychotherapist's) as to whether you have a truly
wannabe dominant personality, obtaining "Your Own Personal Libel Suit" will
settle it permanently!

"Your Own Personal Libel Suit" options start at just $1,300 for the basic
"Europa" lawsuit filed in our state court that regrettably has no
jurisdiction over you. For an additional $1,300 we'll file a "Subterfuge"
lawsuit in a court in your own state! And, for the man who aspires to the
highest levels of braggadocio, for $5,000 we'll file your own personal
"Sockpuppet Wheel" lawsuit in a Federal Court. For a negotiable fee, we'll
even try to engage the ACLU on your behalf!

All filings will be made by licensed legal professionals. We guarantee that
we won't copy text out of lawbooks you can find in your local library.

This is not a legal offer. The legal offer will be made by means of the
prospectus which will include a legal opinion as to why the lawsuit can't
possibly cost you more than $1 were it actually go to trial. Obviously, for
the low, low fees we charge, Jupiter Legal Services can't afford to actually
litigate the case. But, for a negotiable fee...

For your prospectus please send a $500 money order to my business address,
which can be found many places in google's record of RAO's proceedings. If
you are a google incompetent, please email Marc Phillips at aol.com to
obtain our mailing address.

Along with the $500 money order please include your legal name, legal
address and phone number along with a photocopy of your driver's license and
social security number with your application. We also require a notarized
statement that you just fell off of a Turnip truck. Turnip trucks are
optional, extra.

You will be informed of the steps you need take to obtain "Your Own Personal
Libel Suit" by return mail.

Bada-Boom.