WE'LL GET BY WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM DEPENDS
(I Get By With a Little Help From My Friends)

What would you think if I ****ed in my shorts
Would you snitch to the newsgroup on me?
Would you tell folks of my genital warts
That I dribble drabble on my knee?

*No, we'll get by with a little help from Depends*
*No, we'll stay dry with a little help from Depends*
*Arny, don't cry, with a little help from Depends *

(Bah dee dah, Bah dah DEE dah dah . . .Bah bum-bum* bum) . . .

Please don't reveal 'bout the brown little tracks
That I'm leavin' in my BVDs
George would impale me - they all would assail me
So I'm beggin' on a bended knee

*No, we'll get by with a little help from Depends*
*No, we'll stay dry with a little help from Depends*
*Arny, don't cry, with a little help from Depends*

But I pee on my body
*You must keep bladder control*
And my logic is shoddy
*You're ****ed but I won't tell a soul*

How should I feel since I'm just an old goat
No one cares about my ABX
Keep your lips sealed - though I'm not in a boat
There's some water leakin' 'tween the decks

*No, we'll get by with a little help from Depends*
*No, we'll stay dry with a little help from Depends*
*Arny, don't cry, with a little help from Depends*

Can't you see, no one loves me
*Because you stink of your *****
But are you still proud of me
*It ain't much marital bliss*

*But we'll get by with a little help from Depends*
*And we'll stay dry with a little help from Depends*
*Arny, don't cry, with a little help from Depends*
*With a little help from De-Pends!*
Sgt. Shlepper