Robert Morein wrote:
"TonyP" wrote in message
. net...

And, that is where we get parental abuse from. My son is 14 and is
trying to test his 'authority' and 'dominance' in the home.
I told him if he wants to be the man and disrespect mother and sister, I
will beat him like a man. Of course, he can swing back. I told him he
could. After using him as a punching bag (body/arm shots only, not hard,
but solid contact), he relented. So, when he gets out of line, I remind
him of what happened and how it will happen again.

I'm surprised how much you guys seem to endorse corporal punishment.
I would like to suggest that you treat it as a last resort. And when you do
use it, consider it as a failure to address issues that should have been
handled with more attention, perhaps beginning a long time ago.

Wrong. Corporal punishment is a last resort. But not because issues
weren't addressed before hand. I guess, growing up, you were 100%
obedient to your parents and those in authority. There are plenty of
parents that lavish their kids with attention, yet, the kids walk all
over the parents.

Corporal punishment provides an opportunity for the inattentive parent, who
may not have realized that his child has gone astray, to bring his child
back to the fold at the last minute. But this does not come without cost.
When you use corporal punishment, you're also teaching your child that this
is the way to rear children.

Where you get this from is beyond me. How you can paint a broad brush
without any reference is plain wrong.

Assuming you have a normal child, it should be possible for you to make him
part of YOUR world. If he feels part of this world, he won't want to go
against it or harm it. Give him constructive values, and you will minimize
the number of occasions where you, the parent, will have to put aside
civilized values to subdue your child.

Come out into the world sometime. I am sure, living in your bubble that
everything is peachy cream.
BTW, do you have kids? And they are 'perfect'?

Quality time with children does not simply involve recreating together. It
involves talking. The parent is the primary giver of moral values. No one
else -- teacher, pastor, or troop leader, can replace this role. Many
parents feel uncomfortable or inadequate doing this. But every day, every
situation you or your child encounter, has learning potential. You can
explain to your child how you handled a situation, and you can listen to
your son explain how he handled his, and give him advice.

Let's see... when spanking was not a bad thing (way back when in the
50's early 60's), look at the crime stats for kids. Teen pregnancy for
kids. Drug abuse for kids. Parental abuse for kids. SAT scores for kids.
Violence in school for kids. EVERYTHING negative for kids. Compare it
to todays' stats. And then tell me what happened.
The "time out", "Dr. Spock", "don't hit him, it could harm him", "don't
leave him back in school, it will ruin his/her self esteem"... sounds
like something certain people are saying when dealing with terrorists.
Sometimes, phsyical punishment IS the only thing that they will
understand (after all else has been tried).