"TonyP" wrote in message
. net...
Robert Morein wrote:

"SAIL LOCO" wrote in message
...

I'm surprised how much you guys seem to endorse corporal
punishment.

All one has to do is look how kids that grew up in the era of corporal
punishment turned out compared to the young "adults" of today. And it
will
even get worse. Teachers today call parents to inform them of little
Leroy's
actions and the parents show up at school looking to beat up the
teacher.

I'm not ruling out corporal punishment. Please reread what I wrote.

It seemed that way.

All I'm saying is, we transfer our wisdom to our kids by communicating
with
them. Corporal punishment does not do this. Sure, if for some reason,
there
has been a communications failure, then you may have to spank them. Then
go
back and ask yourself, "How did this comm failure occur, and what can I
do
to bring my kids closer to me?"

Or... have you thought that the kid just wanted to do what the kid
wanted to do inspite of what you said?

Mostly, that happens when you give the child rules, but don't make him part
of your world. You have to teach your child by example, by how you conduct
your life. Too many parents keep their children at arms length. Let your
child feel your pain; feel your joy.

As far as the type of corporal punishment, the object should be
humilation.
When I hear people speak of wanting to "beat" their kid, this crosses
the
line. This is teaching brutality. Sure, you may curb the current
misbehavior, but at a terrible cost later, at the core of your child's
misbehavior.

Really. Re-read the above reply to you. I never heard of a spanking that
didn't hurt.

A moderate spanking is not very painful. It is humiliating.


Usually, a child's misbehavior is a rebellion against the rules that
have been set in place. Break the rules, there are consequences (gee,
just like in real life!). If you know the consequences and are willing
the break the rules anyway, you bring upon *yourself* the punishment
that was clearly expressed before hand.

That is law, not parenting. As we progress from childhood to adulthood, we
enter a world that does run according to unfeeling statutes. If you commit a
crime, you are punished. However, such a system is not appropriate for
raising a child. Too many men think that childrearing is about setting rules
and demanding compliance. But they don't understand that the more important
part of parenting is nurturing.

Nurturing is not reserved for women. Nurturing means that you provide all
the emotional support and framework that helps your child grow. Nurturing
includes all kinds of positive reinforcement.

It's a shame that with all this talk of hitting and beating one's children,
no one has described what they do to nuture their child; to help him grow;
to help him develop positive attitudes, to make him feel good about himself,
and to make him feel part of the adult world as early as possible.







Personally, I was spanked exactly once, when I was four years old.
However,
I was "punished" many times, while growing up, by sheer guilt at the
various
shortfalls that all kids have in becoming adults. And my conscience grew
large, which is a tribute to my parents.

And, the spanking made you into a deranged person.