"S888Wheel" wrote in message


Jupiter Legal Services is offering a new service for the discerning
Usenet flamer. You've dreamed of this for years! "Your Own Personal
Libel Suit"

Just think of the respect and adulation that you will receive from
your friends and neighbors when they see the relevant legal papers
(suitable for framing) on your family room wall! If there was ever a
question in anybody's mind (including your psychotherapist's) as to
whether you have a truly wannabe dominant personality, obtaining
"Your Own Personal Libel Suit" will settle it permanently!

"Your Own Personal Libel Suit" options start at just $1,300 for the
basic "Europa" lawsuit filed in our state court that regrettably has
no jurisdiction over you. For an additional $1,300 we'll file a
"Subterfuge" lawsuit in a court in your own state! And, for the man
who aspires to the highest levels of braggadocio, for $5,000 we'll
file your own personal "Sockpuppet Wheel" lawsuit in a Federal
Court. For a negotiable fee, we'll even try to engage the ACLU on
your behalf!

All filings will be made by licensed legal professionals. We
guarantee that we won't copy text out of lawbooks you can find in
your local library.

This is not a legal offer. The legal offer will be made by means of
the prospectus which will include a legal opinion as to why the
lawsuit can't possibly cost you more than $1 were it actually go to
trial. Obviously, for the low, low fees we charge, Jupiter Legal
Services can't afford to actually litigate the case. But, for a
negotiable fee...

For your prospectus please send a $500 money order to my business
address, which can be found many places in google's record of RAO's
proceedings. If you are a google incompetent, please email Marc
Phillips at aol.com to obtain our mailing address.

Along with the $500 money order please include your legal name, legal
address and phone number along with a photocopy of your driver's
license and social security number with your application. We also
require a notarized statement that you just fell off of a Turnip
truck. Turnip trucks are optional, extra.

You will be informed of the steps you need take to obtain "Your Own
Personal Libel Suit" by return mail.

Bada-Boom.

How much time did you waste on this lame attempt at humor?

Maybe 5 minutes.

Don't quit your day job....never mind.

Truth hurts, doesn't it?

Oh I forgot sockpuppet Wheel. You're numb from the neck up - nothing hurts
you.

Whadabout your pocket book sockpuppet Wheel, or did you plead poverty down
at the court house?

LOL!