"Sockpuppet Yustabe" wrote in message

"Arny Krueger" wrote in message
...

Jupiter Legal Services is offering a new service for the discerning
Usenet flamer. You've dreamed of this for years! "Your Own Personal
Libel Suit"

Just think of the respect and adulation that you will receive from
your friends and neighbors when they see the relevant legal papers
(suitable for
framing) on your family room wall! If there was ever a question in
anybody's
mind (including your psychotherapist's) as to whether you have a
truly wannabe dominant personality, obtaining "Your Own Personal
Libel Suit" will settle it permanently!

"Your Own Personal Libel Suit" options start at just $1,300 for the
basic "Europa" lawsuit filed in our state court that regrettably has
no jurisdiction over you. For an additional $1,300 we'll file a
"Subterfuge" lawsuit in a court in your own state! And, for the man
who aspires to the highest levels of braggadocio, for $5,000 we'll
file your own personal "Sockpuppet Wheel" lawsuit in a Federal
Court. For a negotiable fee, we'll even try to engage the ACLU on
your behalf!

All filings will be made by licensed legal professionals. We
guarantee that
we won't copy text out of lawbooks you can find in your local
library.

This is not a legal offer. The legal offer will be made by means of
the prospectus which will include a legal opinion as to why the
lawsuit can't possibly cost you more than $1 were it actually go to
trial. Obviously, for
the low, low fees we charge, Jupiter Legal Services can't afford to
actually
litigate the case. But, for a negotiable fee...

For your prospectus please send a $500 money order to my business
address, which can be found many places in google's record of RAO's
proceedings. If you are a google incompetent, please email Marc
Phillips at aol.com to obtain our mailing address.

Along with the $500 money order please include your legal name, legal
address and phone number along with a photo copy of your driver's
license and
social security number with your application. We also require a
notarized statement that you just fell off of a Turnip truck. Turnip
trucks are optional, extra.

You will be informed of the steps you need take to obtain "Your Own
Personal
Libel Suit" by return mail.

Bada-Boom.

Hey moron, you forgot to ask us to give you our bank routing and
account numbers!

Darn!